I'm at naqs house with kas and syaheera. meeting akasha later. ain's birthday is coming. wohooooooo!
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Oh yeah, new eye candy hehe. I'm listening to his new song 'takin' back my love'. It's on repeat heh heh. I'm sharing with Naq. But since beard turns Naq on, I suggest that she only take his beard and I, his body. HAHA! But she don't want. Oh well haha. He's so sexyyyy. You've yet to see his body, yum! ;)

Yesterday, went out with my girls to watch Taukay Wayang Musical. Suppose to meet up at 130pm with the girls first but I was 45 mins late! Was caught up at Eunos bus stop. and we're suppose to meet Mdm Irma at City Hall at 215pm because show starts at 3 at Victoria Theater. We reached City Hall at 255pm, yes very late. You guys can't imagine us running out through the City Hall. Very embarrassing haha. The show was worth it till Farah Ain cried. Hurhur. Was god damn hungry and headed to bugis to eat with Farah Ain, Chia and Zaiba. I love you girls weeeeeeeexsz ;) and reached home at 8.

Wait I'm not done yet. To K, could you please stop texting me and acting all nice towards me. Trying to show some concern? Shove it up your ass mister. After what you have done to me. You wanted to come to my house to settle things with me because you were not satisfied with me. You called me a bitch. You threw words that I didn't wanna hear. And now, you still got the guts to say that you're my listening ear? Oh please. You're one sweet talker motherfucker, I'm telling you!

I'm done! Have a nice day ahead! :)
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I was writing notes in my handbook. Unfortunately, I turn to this certain page and has your name capitilsed.
Alloysious: Eh, how long you and him ah?
me: Oh er not anymore.
Alloysious: Sorry ah so long alr never see you guys. Don't cry ah.
me: nola haha.

Urg! I hate this situations. My feelings are all mixed up! I don't know what the hell am I waiting for, feeling all sad and frustrated over H. I don't know if I should treat him like a friend or a stranger. I don't know. I don't know how to react towards A. I'm not trying to play around with your feelings. I knew it you gonna feel this way. I don't want you to think that way. Just that I love your company. We've been friends since primary 4 and I don't want you to think that I'm somewhat trying to bastard you.
My friends have been telling me, "Syaz, just move on." I'm still a stubborn girl but thank you.
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"Know what? I grew!"
"Wow! But I'm still taller."

If only I could share my excitement with you, the conversation will be something like this,
"know what? I bought Anna Sui's purse!"
"wow!"(with your sarcastic face)
"yala,you must wow cos it's Anna Sui yknw!"
"Fascinating."

I know it's kinda boring of me keep blogging about H. But i can't help it. Sometimes I don't know who to turn to. I think they heard enough? But there's more than that. You'll be surprise when I tell you that I actually smiled to myself in the bus, otw to school. About what else hee.

Seriously, I can't be alone. If I do, I'll tend to be angry and smack the walls, throw pillows, pull my hair. OH EM GEEEEEEEEEEE, this is so freaking hard lah okay. I mean to get you off my mind.

In serious need of H. urg! silly,s!
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I can be a bitch sometimes when you get on my nerves when miss little pms has arrived. So beware! I have a lot of cravings. Satay, Mee Goreng Pataya etc. Am eating nutella and a cup of hot chocolate. Another ice cream still in fridge and also toblerone. It's been a while since I last ate chocolate, really! You see, even right now I'm frowning which I don't really know why. Can't go swimming, that's why. Urg! Hopefully I won't get any cramps cause if I do,pink pills are calling me. I eat those pills EVERY MONTH, fyi. Yeah I know its not good but heck, the pain's excruciating! Even Naq's trying to stop me from those pills haha. OK so what I'm tryna tell y'all is that I may not be in a good mood tomorrow. So good luck talking to me heh heh. Goodnight!

P.s: I think Ima fail my physics test tomorrow. Still dont get what's current on electricity hehe.
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First and foremost, happy 17th birthday Haikal Asyraf! All the best for your future endeavours and your O's as well. Still doesnt look like 17, na-uh ;)

School was boring. Was waiting for the last period to end which was Geog. Can it get any worse? Practice was the usual. Am having muscle cramps right now. urg. OH HAVE I TOLD YOU I BOUGHT ANNA SUI'S PURSE! GOODNESS, IN LOVE WITH IT :D SO EXCITING HEHE.
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Since mum's not cooking, I had maggi for breakfast and nasi lemak for lunch and ice creams for dinner. Hurhur. I'm changing my blogskin soon! This post is so tak perlu.


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I never knew I would want you so badly like right now.
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I was out since 8:30am for practice at 9 just now and reached home till 6pm. HAH! Sooooo tired. SYF is less than 20 days. Urg. Yknw, I'm very stress. Results will be realeased on the day itself. Imagine that!

Okay anyway, went to Farah Ain's block. Our plan wasn't the way we want it since we got carried away by a CERTAIN topic. Swear am grinning to myself right now. To think about it, I think it's a very funny and cute story. Nope, won't tell you hehehehe. AHHHH, see la i miss those moments alr.

I'm craving for a drink but not really sure of what drink.

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Basically I'm just blogging and drinking plain water. Had mee goreng pataya. Yum! in love with it!:D I love ikan pari too heh heh.

I've been thinking a lot today. About you-know-what. I mean everything I do, it's him who I think about most. reason number 1, my password has his name in it. Reason number 2, my wallpaper in my phone has his name in it. Reason number 3, I can't help it but to highlight his name everytime he comes online. Its gonna take months for me to let go of everything. But I'm trying to. Sigh. Your birthday is coming. So much for planning everything just for you. People are telling to just move on. But I'm just so stubborn.

I miss H. Wonder what he's doing right now.
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I'm freaking turning 16 soon! and people are already asking me to meet up tomorrow ans some even tomorrow. Busy busy busy. Hurhur. Can't wait for tomorrow, I think(?) Whats wrong with me?! Im turning 16 la tomorrow. Be happy la, S! :)
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I was very close to pressing your number. It's too tempting. Very close to hearing your voice again. But I told myself, 'No syaz, no'.
Anyhoos..to get my mind off stuffs, I went to Chia's house to do some project and Farah Ain came later. We can't tell you what project it is hehe... We're looking forward to it. but it's still along way to go.

Otw to maths class,
Faid: Syaz, why you look so sad nowadays? Smile la. Your bday coming yknw.
Me: nola heh.

like I told you guys, I need those nowadays. And thank you again to those who told me to cheer up and asked me if I'm okay over and over again.

I'm turning 16 in 4 days time. I should be looking forward, I suppose(?) My friends are bringing somewhere in the WEST. Yes, west. Don't knw if they're joking. I think I got my March holidays planned alr. Out with Chia and Farah Ain to Beach road for another project hehehehe...Must go okay girls! Maybe meet up on some days to do another project. Y'all must be wondering what project are we doing rightttttt when we come from different levels. Omg so exciting. haha!
and of cos, STUDY STUDY STUDY!

Alright readers, a happy post at last? heh. bye.
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It's very sad for me of him avoiding me. and not having eye contact even though we're just a metre away. I can't go on, going to school like this anymore. It's making me worse with my puffy red eyes in class.I just can't do it this way. If this didnt happened, we'll still be texting each other even though we're not together. We still can talk as per normal. I see you smile and you'll see me smile. That way you don't have to think about me being sad all over again. And I don't have to call up your friend just to ask if you're okay. Be it physically or mentally.

All I can see was just your feet, tapping to the music of whatever song you're listening to.

I must say that H is my first love. Not K. H showed me what its like to be loved.
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Spot me if you can heh heh.

I want to see my Naqiyah. I want to see my girls, Chia and Farah Ain. I want to see my Faris, Syaheera and Kas. I want to see them all. I don't want to be alone. It hurts being alone. I just don't know what to do. I want to see them every single day. I love y'all so much.

Thank you N for listening to me. You're there whenever I'm down and telling me to be strong. You feel the pain too, I'm touched. I love you,N. Thank you Chia for coaxing me and tell me that everything will be okay. And Khai, thank you. You made me understand better. Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. I really need those nowadays. I just can't stop crying.

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Time check: 9:50pm
Second post for tonight. I've not eaten my dinner. Last was during recess and one piece of epok-epok. Goodnight, readers.
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6 March should be the date I'm looking forward to. Now, it's just a fking date. After being with you for more that 10 months, we spent a lot of time together. Joke around and stuffs. With you around, it's a must to eat cos you get hungry easily. Say, 1 year plus? You liked me for 1 year plus and everything is going down the drain just like that. I know what you're gona say. I know exactly what's your motive in that tone of yours. You scare me with your tone and you know that very well. I was trembling and i'm not joking. I know why you're doing this to me. It's for the better. Just that, it's hard for me to accept the fact. I just can't accept the fact that this is the fact. I can't,really.

Deep inside, I know that we are strong enough to face this. But we just have to end it. Nothing's gona be the same when we take the same bus going to school. Cos I'll have tons of stories to tell/complain to you. Now, is just plain questions/conversation. I want to have more that just plain conversation. I don't want us to be awkward. I want us to be the same just that we're not 24/7. Sometimes, you look like you don't care but you told me you really care. Maybe you can forget about this easily because from what I observe, guys are better at forgetting the ex gf. I don't know, maybe you're different.

SyazwaniHaikal,HaikalSyazwani. I miss that. We were so into each other that we wrote each other's name on our hand. Yes, silly I know. I miss your touch. I'm going to the bus stop, going anywhere without my friends, alone. I'm doing stuffs alone. Usually, you'll be there accompanying me. I know it's no use saying this out. We're at the brink of doing our own stuff.

I hope you're reading this cos there's so many things to tell you. I miss you, Muhd Haikal Asyraf.

yours truly.
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Seriously, I think that I wasted my time typing and then deleting what I've typed cos I think it's irrelevant. Even typing this out is irrelevant. I'm just waiting for today to be over and then tmrw begins. gees, what a post.
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Good thing I didnt go out today. It's raining cats and dogs. Thanks to Naq for her laziness to go to the National Library. Haha. Im on the comp since noon. Searching for blog skins. But NONE interest me after hours and hours of clicking the thumbnails. Decided to stay with this skin first.
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